Last night’s Super Bowl game was actually more interesting than most of the commercials, which was a first for me. I’m not that into American Football but even I noticed that the game was tight, that it got tied up right before halftime and that an upset in the last two minutes cinched it for The Patriots. Plus there was a huge fight at the end with multiple players wailing on each other.
There were standout commercials, but overall people were struck by how serious and somewhat depressing they were. Some ads were heartwarming and there’s always a call for that, but one took the glurge commercial genre to a new, dark place. If you watched the Super Bowl commercials you know I’m talking about Nationwide’s “the kid bites it” commercial.
Nationwide: Make Safe Happen
This awful, manipulative commercial showed a sweet boy going on adventures he’d never have and then dropping the bomb “I couldn’t grow up, because I died from an accident.” Then Nationwide helpfully let us know that the number one cause of childhood death is preventable accidents. I don’t understand what their point was. If we buy insurance for our kids, we’ll be more likely to read one of their pamphlets and put child locks on our cleaning supply closets? It made no sense, and it seemed to exist just to bring us down. Mission accomplished.
Nationwide: Mindy Kaling is invisible
Nationwide lost consumer’s goodwill with that horrible dead kid commercial, which is too bad for them because their other ad had one of the best surprises of the night. There was plenty of advance buzz for this commercial in which Mindy Kaling gets up to all sorts of playful naughtiness when she assumes no one can see her. The actual game day ad had a wonderful surprise guest at the end. It was Matt Damon and I don’t blame Mindy Kaling for smelling his hair. Even Matt Damon and Mindy Kaling do not have the power to make us forget Nationwide’s terrible blunder, though. Someone is going to get fired for that ad.
Esurance: Lindsay Lohan is sorta your mom; Walter White is a pharmacist
Lindsay warned us out of the only side of her face that moved that major insurance companies profile their customers. She also tacitly warned us that she’s still a menace on the road and that she’s still getting paid to show up for stuff. Esurance’s second commercial last night featured Bryan Cranston as his Breaking Bad character, Walter White. It would have been a great commercial if he wasn’t shilling for the same brand as Lilo.
T-Mobile: #KimsDataStash
Kim Kardashian turned lost data into a PSA-worthy awareness announcement as she mournfully took belfies. It’s a clever, memorable play on her persona.
T-Mobile: Sarah Silverman and Chelsea Handler: One-Upped
I had to watch this commercial twice before I figured out the feature they were shilling: wi-fi calling. I was too distracted by all the awesome faux-features of Silverman and Handler’s mansions. My favorite part: Silverman’s trophy room with just one solitary, lonely trophy. Is that her Emmy Award? She has two.
Mophie: All Powerless
This play on apocalypse movies was a joy to watch. It included so many details like a dog walking a person, a priest stealing a TV, and a rooster on top of a goat on top of a donkey. This is the first national commercial for Mophie, which offers battery-boosting devices.
Loctite Glue: Positive Feelings
I saw this ad late in the game and it really won me over. This is hands down my favorite ad this year. There’s a catchy jingle, a bunch of oddballs jamming out, and an easy to remember product. Bonus points for the subtly winking unicorn pin and the bottles glued to the wall.
Bud Light: Real Life PacMan
This follows Bud Light’s Super Bowl tradition of taking regular drinking dudes and giving them amazing experiences while capturing it on “hidden” cameras. In 2014 we had “Ian Up for Whatever” with celebrity cameos. In this ad three guys from a bar get the experience of their lives with a pop-up “coin activated” party complete with a live action Pacman game. It’s hard to believe they plucked this guy out of nowhere, surely he was vetted, or maybe they did this with multiple groups of guys. His enthusiasm is infectious and makes us feel like we’re part of the action.
Budweiser: Lost Dog
Budweiser is excellent at giving us continuity with their Superbowl commercials. Last year we saw the Clydesdales fall in love with a puppy, presumably making a love match between the dog’s beautiful blonde owner and the hot farmer. This year (spoiler) the Clydesdales rescue an identical-looking puppy when he gets lost and into a rough spot. All that’s missing is a shot of the farmer’s hot wife. I guess that didn’t work out for him.
McDonalds: Pay with Lovin’
The lost dog commercial didn’t get me, but damn this McDonald’s commercial did. I just wonder: did they ask the old dude to call his mom and tell her he loved her? What if all he has is memories of her? *cuts onions*
Mountain Dew: Kickstart
Everything in the room starts dancing after the basement dwelling buds take sips of the Dew energy drink. It just makes me think of how much damn caffeine must be in the stuff. I guess it has hallucinogenic properties too.
Liam Neeson: Clash of Clans
Liam Neeson is Angry Neeson 52 in this Clash of Clans ad. Neeson angrily threatens his competition, sneering and talking to his phone as he stands in a coffee shop. So well played, and much better than the Kate Upton Age of Empires commercial.
Fiat: The Blue Pill
A randy Italian gentlemen loses his Viagra out the window. The little blue pill flies through a Rube Goldberg machine of Italian scenes until ending up the gas tank of a Fiat, where it makes the little car bulk up to be magically more attractive to women.
Skittles: Settle It
Somewhere, in a town in the middle of nowhere, Skittles are so revered and scarce that everyone fights over single flavors of their favorite treat. (I wrote that on Twitter.) Old ladies, babies, and even dogs have pumped up right arms from epic arm wrestling bouts. All the better to eat Skittles with.
Squarespace: Dreaming with Jeff
Did you know that Jeff Bridges has a new album that’s designed to put people to sleep? He does, and he made the website with Squarespace. This effective, sparse ad has me intrigued. Jeff Bridges can stroke a Tibetan singing bowl at my bedside anytime.
Wix: It’s That Easy
Squarespace’s lesser-known competitor, Wix, is offering NFL stars Brett Favre, Emmitt Smith, Terrell Owens, Larry Allen & Franco Harris a second act with easy to create websites. While most of the post-NFL careers seem ridiculous and are of course fictional, remember that Jeff Bridges just put out “sleeping tapes.”
Snickers: The Brady Bunch
Danny Trejo and Steve Buscemi step into this classic Brady Bunch episode to portray Jan and Marcia. It’s a cute concept that falls flat despite the star power.
Kia: Pierce Brosnan in The Perfect Getaway
Pierce takes a pitch from an exec in this endearing ad that mixes a traditional car commercial with an action movie. It works because Pierce plays it with just the right amount of humor.
BMW i3: Newfangled Idea featuring Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric
This commercial makes an electric car seem as amazing as the Internet. They show a 1994 clip of Bryant Gumble and Katie Couric trying to figure out how the Internet works and move to present day as Gumble and Couric marvel over the i3. I like it because it actually makes me want the car.
Nissan: With Dad
Nissan reminded us that our loved ones are always with us, even when they have death defying jobs or something. I’m just being glib, this ad chronicling a young boy’s relationship with his racecar driving dad got me teary.
Mercedes Benz: Fable
In this twist on the tortoise and the hare fable, the tortoise wins “by a hare” thanks to the new Mercedes-AMG GT S. It’s a beautiful ad with high production value. Mercedes brought this to the next level with online companion ads featuring NFL great Jerry Rice in a faux sports talk show speculating on who would win, the tortoise or the hare. One ad featured Rice debating with Playboy bunny, Stephanie Branton, and another with a little kid. Adorable.
NoMore Domestic Violence PSA
Inspired by a 911 call said to have taken place 10 years ago, we hear a voiceover of a woman calling 911 to “order pizza” while covertly reporting her partner for domestic abuse. The scenes cut around the house to evidence of violence and a struggle. This is the first domestic violence ad to run during the Superbowl and was donated by the NFL to the NoMore campaign.
Honorable Mentions:
Always: Like a Girl
Chevy: Your signal just went out
Coca Cola turns the whole Internet nice
Toyota: How Great I am featuring Amy Purdy
Microsoft: Estella’s Brilliant Bus
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